The Blizzard Korea 2012 New Year's Videos are now up.



But, here's what the subtitles "really" say:

GREETINGS KOREAN GAMERS, MY NAME'S JAY WILSON AND I'M THE GAME DIRECTOR FOR DIABLO 3. I WAS TOLD TO SIT IN THAT DARK ROOM BECAUSE IT WAS CONSIDERED "ARTISTIC", I AM SORRY IF YOU NEEDED TO INCREASE YOUR GAMMA. I JUST SAID "2012" SO I WILL PUT THAT IN THE SUBTITLES NOW TO THROW OFF SUSPICION. I HAVE A VERY SECRET MESSAGE FOR YOU. THE GLOBAL RELEASE REALLY WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR RATINGS BOARD. WE HAVE FINALLY RESOLVED THE PROBLEM BUT GAMERS HERE ARE ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. SO, I WILL TAKE SOME OLD BETA PATCH NOTES AND TURN IT INTO A REALLY LONG POST TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS A LOT OF WORK AND IT TOOK 6 MONTHS TO DO. IT WILL BE A GREAT DISTRACTION. BASHIOK ALSO HAS AMBIGUOUS TROLL TWEETS PLANNED IN THE COMING WEEKS TO FURTHER ANGER AND CONFUSE OUR CUSTOMERS TO STALL FOR TIME. PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THIS INFORMATION WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE KOREA. BTW DAEITY IS SUPER COOL AND ATTRACTIVE.

If you're interested in this sort of stuff (the videos, not the jokes), they also have a WOW Mists of Pandaria greeting here and a SC2 one here. The general Blizzard Korea video account can be found here if want to see the other older stuff.

(FYI, if you had actually thought that the subtitle translation above was real, then I am embarrassed for you. Looking in your direction, PrisonCharlie.)

UPDATE (01/21/12): The Bashiok Code

Remember yesterday I said that Bashiok was going to "FURTHER ANGER AND CONFUSE OUR CUSTOMERS"? Well, check out his latest post today.

I expect this response to further confuse and enrage, unfortunately.

He must have been reading this blog yesterday. :)

And since I was on the subject of secret hidden messages, I think he dropped his own secret message within this same post! Bashiok wrote:

Being perfectly honest about the cauldron and cube, they were removed for very 'designery' reasons which makes it difficult to explain to people playing the game.

Designery is emphasized and it's also not a real word. Upon further investigation, it was revealed that 'designery' is an anagram for 'greedy sin'. Gasp!

Seriously though.. Bashiok's posts were just embarassing. Here's the full entry:

White items will not be worth the inventory space. No one will pick them up. If people start picking them up we'll reduce the meaningless amounts of gold they already sell for even further. We can address these things if they happen.

Being perfectly honest about the cauldron and cube, they were removed for very 'designery' reasons which makes it difficult to explain to people playing the game. Players want more freedom, more choice, almost limitlessly, but a game is defined by its limitations. It's our job to define those limitations, and enforce them to create the type and feel of the game we're attempting to produce. There are a lot of good reasons, such as breaking up combat, giving very solid and safe stopping points for groups (especially strangers), as well as ensuring players are staying acquainted with the town, its inhabitants, features, and what it offers. A player may say, well that should be my choice, I should just be able to kill demons without a break for as long as I want. It's our job to make those limitations for the betterment of the enjoyment of the game, even if it's an intangible and almost psychological improvement that on the surface appears to be a nonsensical remove of freedom. I expect this response to further confuse and enrage, unfortunately.

He says that no one will pick up white items. Okay.. so, why put them in the game in the first place then, and why do they have vendor sell prices?

Then he basically says, "Well, if someone does actually pick them up for fun, we'll fuck the shit out of them so that they're not fun anymore and so that I can laugh at you."

He goes on to be "perfectly honest" about the removal of the cauldron and cube; "Yeah.. uh, they were removed for reasons that you don't need to know about.. you know, 'designery' stuff." What a cop out. I had thought they made games for their players? Instead, it was "Players want choice and freedom, but it's our job is to remove that choice and freedom."

Well, OF COURSE your response is going to further confuse and enrage. If I kept contradicting myself and I told my customers that they're too stupid to understand our "internal reasons", that I was going to screw them over one day, and I continued to insult their intelligence, of course they're going to be a little cross.