Next month, Classic WOW will be launching and there's a ton of excitement about the number of returning players. I'm also excited to know how many will be back, but I had one burning question that was more important: will Blizzard report their World of Warcraft subscriber numbers again?

Back in 2015, Blizzard promised that they would never again publish their subscriber numbers because they claimed it wasn't a good indicator of World of Warcraft's success. Yeah, I know. It was stupid and they thought we were idiots.

"Note that this is the last quarter that we plan to provide subscriber numbers. There are other metrics that are better indicators of the overall Blizzard business performance."

Coincidentally during this time, Microsoft also announced that they would no longer provide XBOX sales figures, instead opting for the more accurate subscription data. Meanwhile, Activision announced they would no longer provide subscription data and provide engagement data instead. Blizzard on the other hand promised that they provide more accurate metrics that more appropriately measured the success of their games. Those metrics? Unspecified. And, they change on every whim and every quarter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Classic WOW Subscriber Count

I think that if Classic WOW achieves a certain metric, then yes, they will announce subscription figures... in some way. They'll make use of a loophole of sorts too: "Well, we promised we would never do this again, but this has nothing to do with World of Warcraft. We're announce subscription figures for the other World of Warcraft. We're completely absolved." Or maybe they'll just say that "Over X players have returned" rather than calling them subscribers.

It will have to be a big number though. Jabracki really wants Classic WOW to fail and he's budgeted next-to-nothing for Classic WOW marketing and promotions. In a way, Classic WOW could be that much greater a success given the fact that the company itself is actively working against it's success. If it succeeds, it was against overwhelming odds.

Obviously if something crazy happens, like they achieve 5 million players, then they'll definitely NEED to announce it. Even if Jabracki "doesn't wanna". But, I think that the target metric will likely be a minimum of one million returning players and ideally retained for at least a couple months. But, then again, when have they ever cared about retention metrics in their announcements or shareholder exaggerations?

Currently, World of Warcraft has less than 1 million subscribers. Back in 2015, they claimed to have 5.5 million subscribers. During this time, they were in the midst of a rapidly declining playerbase and were fully aware that it was irreparable. That figure wasn't exactly accurate as well.

When a company provides what they call "Monthly Active Users" or "Subscribers", but then have to legally define precisely what they mean by those "fictional words" within a 30-page legal document, then you know there's something up. And when mentioning the existence of said "definitions" are buried deep within fine print, while the actual definitions are in hiding or difficult to access, then you know that those figures are incredibly suspect and untrustworthy.


Even after massive redactions, heavily skewed metrics and further juking of stats, it still wasn't enough to conceal the embarrassment. Hence the new plan to "never speak of it again." On the day of the announcement, subscriber counts were closer to half of those final figures.

It Is Known

For a long time, this was one of those funny things that Blizzard was very well-known for: World of Warcraft®: Subscriptions™

Always questionable, like many things they said. Except never questioned by Blizzard cheerleaders and fanbois. They eat it all up, drink the blue kool-aid, and believe every single word Blizzard says.

beacuase there a public company they cannot lie ever. this is fact!!!..; no comapny can ever lie to customers or there investors beacuase it tis illegal and no company ever lies ever. they also cannot make any misleading statemants ether. ist called SECRUTIES FRUAD!! its impossible for anyone to do this so ono no one does it... r u stupd?

They are many other terms or words that Blizzard is also very well known for. For example:

1. "Soon™, Very Soon™, and Soon-ish™". This is the act of teasing delivery without any commitment or solid plans. Often, they tease something that will never materialize, leading to immense disappointment.

2. "When It's Ready". Their habit of delivering a project far out of schedule and not actually ready. Especially servers, infrastructure, and backbone support.

3. "Fun Detected", "Incoming Nerf". Boy, it's incredibly fun destroying the happiness of others, which Blizzard keenly learned when StarCraft 2 melted all of those expensive video cards. Now, Blizzard finds and destroys fun and engaging gameplay elements or mechanics within a game that's not supposed to have any of those elements.

4. "Banhammer". Blizzard swinging around the good ol' banhammer, which is really just an automated system that often strikes down innocent bystanders or is otherwise exploited by a cabal of players, led by a streamer, to ban players that don't give the streamer their gold and worship.

5. "Get Hyped!", "Get Excited!", "The Best Expansion Yet!". There's always a promise that the next one is always better, and that even though things are really bad now, it will get better. We promise. It's always the next time right? The next one will fix all of your problems.

In fact, this is just a strategy used by sleazy marketers, drug dealers, and deadbeat dads. It's usually promised by an individual known for failure and constant disappointment. Like that father who's never around but keeps promising his son that fishing trip that will never happen. Instead, he's lying down in a ditch outside the local bar trying to figure out what the hell happened to BFA crafting professions.

6. "Bobby's Bitch". The completely rational and sensible belief by most gamers that Blizzard has been heavily corrupted influenced by Bobby Kotick and the Activision Gang. This is a very long and complicated story, but the most basic answer to this is that there were key individuals (not the company as a whole) who wanted to appease Activision's investors and suck off the bosses. Although some employees who shared Bob's vision did rise in power within Blizzard, and some other key players were converted, Blizzard would have ended up this way even if Activision had never existed. It's the nature of these beasts. When they grow old, stagnant, and desperate, they copy and steal from shady competitors that are trending in success. It happens everywhere. The theft of OC in forums, or even streamers and influencers who now only steal content or create "reaction to reaction" videos.

7. Blizzard "It Was A Difficult Decision" Entertainment. Another classic. Mass layoffs here, mass layoffs there, and more mass layoffs that aren't really "mass layoffs" because Blizzard would never do that. More recently, there are even more mass layoffs in the midst of record revenue. Firing people that want to make fun games and therefore aren't towing the company line. Destroying eSports due to incompetence, or cancelling projects due to incompetence. It's a very very long discussion, but in the end, incompetence is probably the most simple word to describe what happened.

Speaking of mass layoffs! Many moons ago this blog was under fire by Blizzard, Joystiq, and large media outfits. These are just some of the official statements made in reference to mass layoff claims, that were immediately refuted by Joystiq and Blizzard, but later confirmed to be in fact true.

"The vast majority named in that article are at work today. FB profiles can't be used to confirm anything, especially a mass trend @PennyRush" [LINK]

- Jon Brown (aka Blizzard's Zarhym), November 2011, stating that big data from social media companies can't possibly be used to confirm trends of any kind.


"@talkingcongas I seriously hate that Daeity person" [LINK]

- Mike Sacco (Joystiq's Most Reputable Blizzard Writer), November 2011, stating his immense hate for the blog while his employer continued to steal it's content. Formerly of the viral Anti-#GamerGate Borderlands-racism fame.

You know, you when carefully look at all of those things that Blizzard is most famous for, you realize they have a common trait: it comes down to what they say. This is what's called, The Blizzard Promise™.

The Blizzard Promise™ has been around forever. This is when a Blizzard employee publicly states that something will definitely happen, but never does. Sometimes it's a huge mistake, an intentional misleading statement, deception, or a lie. But usually, it's something they say because it appeals to the masses or they say it to quell anger. It may or may not happen because it was just a fun idea at the time. But most importantly, it's a way to build up hype and excitement without the commitment, hoping that their customers will forget. And, they do.

It reminds me a lot of Soon™. Soon™ was a necessity. After so many failed launched dates and releases, they had to start using the term instead of their frequent promises of release dates. However, they never applied this same common sense to features or elements within their games. So now, they've made thousands of promises for features that never happened.

For my next post, I think I'll list out Blizzard Promises™ from the past. Some things shouldn't be forgotten.