PoE Beta Key Competitions are Whimsical

Posted by Daeity On Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Yesterday, the Path of Exile Reddit held a competition where users would post the most funny, witty, or insightful comment. It was not a random give-a-way, but rather a competition.

Everyone competed with each other, and downvoted everyone else. It was like watching 300 vultures fighting and tearing at each other for a morsel of food that was, in fact, just a piece of plastic.

Seeing as how Reddit is pretty much an angry atheist comedy site, I knew that everyone was going to post a "funny" comment because those are the only comments that get upvoted.

So, I decided to put in the one and only "insightful" comment. I figured, there were 3 keys for 3 topics, and everyone would be doing funny/witty.

Apparently, though, posting a deeply insightful post on Reddit will only reward you with very angry downvotes.

Every moment your brain chemistry changes, new synaptic connections are formed, old ones are lost, your cellular structure decays, and your DNA mutates due to the persistent exposure of sunlight, carcinogens, electromagnetics, and radiation. You are in a constant state of change and evolution. So much so, in fact, that the person you were moments ago is literally not the same person you are now. You can't call this "your life" since every moment you essentially die and then you are reborn.

What you perceive as memories were merely experienced by another individual and your mind tricks you into believing that you are that same person. Memories of deep regret, emotion, foolishness, or long lost loves were all something that, in fact, happened to a completely different person. That person no longer exists, and you are not them. You just happen to the unfortunate individual to have inherited their memories, but it's just another deception of the mind.

Remember this always: none of that happened to you. It happened to that other person. You are not them. Keep telling yourself that so that your future inheritors can release their burdens and finally move forwards in life. Your "life" will be ending soon, but you can leave it knowing that you rescued someone who is very important to you.

If my contribution was not 'insightful' enough, please let me know and I can go deeper.
In the end, here were the chosen winners:

1. "Hopefully I will be playing PoE at 21:01 GMT!! [gives bot $5]"
2. "Crossin' my fingers!"
3. "Beta keys = Women Sexed. True Story!"

The very first post automatically won apparently, but the other two were absolutely hilarious and they deserved to win.

Guess I'll just wait for a random invite, I give up with these competitions.